1. |
Lost Sol
06:56
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The thousand year brook, disrupted, dry.
I killed our innocence, oh how I’ve wished to with it lie.
Nerve-webbed energies spurring evolution,
choosing and refusing for betterment of law.
Sex split for unbiased preference,
putting more at stake to make more intricate.
Pushing ever deeper toward what once seemed inexistent,
rewarding the triumphs and punishing the flaws.
Collapse and expand, mirroring in hologram
to reciprocate creation in the dreams of the intimate.
Given permission to see through those eyes,
now I'm a part of everything and everything's alive.
The highest awareness, the warmest of light
from this pulsing softness coursing with life.
The scent so electric I drown its waves,
to a soul's reflection in the contours of a face.
A soul so familiar and fragile it pains,
while the peace of our childhoods links us to every Age.
The gift - a rite, the most sacred dance,
while the voice of a mother blesses and confirms.
A fortune was given beyond wildest chance,
then the voice in my mind, "This you do not deserve."
And against all that's natural, beautiful and right,
I wrenched out every feather of that angel from above.
And as I stood the idiot-destroyer of light,
the voice came true that warned, "You'll kill everything you love."
This wasn't supposed to happen, I wasn't supposed to do this,
I wasn't supposed to be here, I wasn't supposed to be this.
This wasn't meant to happen, I wasn't meant to do this,
I wasn't meant to be here, and now I don't exist.
These words will fail their meanings, though are either way in vain.
They won't point to something noble, but to dogma for its sake.
And as my lower selves have risen, my merit's further stained.
So I make this my denial of everything I'll say...
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2. |
Storytime
07:35
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I greet you warmly child of me,
I've come to tell you of all that will be.
But don't despair if the future seems cold,
you'll keep these moments as if they were gold.
The trees are taller, the ocean more blue -
they stretch forever just like your youth.
You've not a sin and your conscience is clear,
but that's to change with the passing of the years...
Fast hand, white hot trauma,
reverberates inside the skull.
Innocence and intellect raped,
reveals a view of a darker world.
Flesh on flesh, the bonds of affection -
confused for the bonds of submission in fear.
Self-hatred and mistrust
repel all beauty that comes near.
You can't shift blame onto anyone else,
you're all alone now because of yourself.
And more you're downfall looks just the same
as that which led you to be without name.
So it seems it was always to be,
but that's not true (or so you'd like to think).
And now you fight with the choice everyday -
to live between two truths or fade away.
There's nothing can compare to the stagnation felt inside,
once knowing of the magic you've forever been denied.
Please tell me how to live a life of ignorance with pride -
seems it's so much easier to hide.
I know that I convinced you I was a strapping lad,
seems the damaged ones are fun to read but seldom fun to have.
And having passed the boundaries that patience would allow,
oh isn't it convenient I choose the right path now.
So to all, heed this directive for avoidance of all pain -
make sure you pick collectors, for creators are insane.
And when they're not, they're boring for their souls are in their paint -
they exist for lovers' musings and for only lovers' gains.
Cuts down the cellar floor, falls to another cellar,
cuts down the floor again, falls to another cellar.
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3. |
Curse of Saturn
09:18
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Eighteen reflecting the light of the sun in my eye,
like thoughts of the past that still last 'spite the will of the fly.
Art through the sonic supporting the souls of the shy,
as black as the onyx that weights us with questions of, "why?"
Our horns now vestigial, we flaunt them in vain -
that which was regal beginning to wane.
Our passion as strong as the ice keeping form
of the rings that arch over our sky.
We sleep to the thunder, we kiss to the rain -
it's only the rhythm still keeping us sane.
The sun's a reminder of all that's inane,
so thank fuck for the thunder, thank fuck for the rain.
Then came the centaur riding in from the south,
stamping the memory of all I had been into the ground.
The hoof is sharp - it shatters the scales from my waist down,
that now fertilize the fields that give rise to passions abound.
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4. |
Cannibal
13:04
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I want to be your food, I want to course through you.
I want to fall into your mouth, then for you to trap me down, down...
Make me suffocate, so I can't escape - so close the cells fuse.
A child's fascination with the new -
with special attentions, obsessions ensue.
And with the teasing of the edges,
the world's condensed down to inches.
"Dirty"s not a word I ever understood -
an angel's clean from head to toe.
Two hearts born in winter, worn not on the sleeve -
despite change in season the cold wouldn't leave.
It's only befitting the two were to meet,
and trigger the change from desire to heat.
An urge that was planted before I was born,
to worship your every function and form.
Funny to think that a difference so plain
attracts us to that which just makes us the same.
We're meant to toil on the earth, to fill our heavens with mirth.
I don't need babies or bells, to want this with no one else.
You gave me the right to merge with your life -
our flesh won't last for long (and it knows it).
Oh, but careful - for when we fail to seize our kingdoms,
we're ruled by false rewards.
And we couldn't hate ourselves more.
I remember when I was human.
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5. |
Divine Comedy
10:56
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Lo, your god is resurrecting, start your genuflecting,
so much fun pretending I am a slave.
What message are you sending to those whom you're protecting, constantly repenting to someone who's fake.
There is no one accepting the points you are collecting
when we should be connecting the dots about life.
The path that you're selecting negatively effecting
the rate of your ascending toward the...
So, now that I've your attention, it might be good to mention
the power of convention on all of your minds.
What's wrong with innovation, simply complication
or fear of obligation to those of your kind?
This 'personal attention' from that beyond perception
leads to the aggression ruling our time.
And godly separation 'tween man and all creation
will be our annihilation (we may find).
Nature's only pretty in a frame,
emotion's only pretty when it's tame.
Words are only pretty when they're aged,
and life is only pretty when it's staged.
(I get so old trapped in this stage,
yet watch them grow and never age -
I suppose this is our fate.)
We're never sure how many more we have to go,
'til we realize the good old days were days ago.
How can we mount to something running to and fro,
oh if only life went back to being slow (and back to being).
There is no time,
as I behold what's no longer mine.
Never seen though so close -
this is what it means to be a ghost.
Haunted by the real, there is no time,
as I behold what used to be mine.
Never seen though so close -
this is what it means to be a ghost.
Midst the drones, there is no time,
haunted by the real that will never be mine.
Never seen though so close -
this is what it means to be a ghost.
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6. |
The Thousand Year Brook
08:40
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I hate trying to say,
what words can't ever relay.
There's no too long a list,
of all that I will miss.
But I can't call it a curse,
when live or dead we still share this earth.
So do reap every bliss,
of all that I will miss.
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7. |
A Fetish for Psychos
07:00
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Together in her palace of dreams,
pictures and figures color the scene.
Eighties zombies lit on the screen,
shelves of stories (worlds you have seen).
I can feel your tears in the dark -
warm like shadows that blanket the heart.
Words are whispered never to part,
asleep like children, tight in their arms.
Synth-filled summers, graveyards at night,
moon glow meadow, dancing of lights.
I am home and the future is bright, young...
Perhaps I should sing of inglorious might,
or the swelling of masses that's choking all life.
Well, the root is the same in either manner of breath -
we want what we love to be immune from the hands of death.
For all the clutter we've amassed
it pales to what has yet to pass,
and as it changes true and fast
we fail to see the difference.
All times will never be again
and so I live in poor attempt
to feel the pure in what has been
to keep it in existence.
I try - for if you no longer hurt, then you're not alive.
I try - for if you can't remember, then you're not alive.
I try - for if you no longer feel, then you're not alive.
I try - you no longer care, so you're not alive.
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8. |
The Irretrievable Act
10:17
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Child, listen to me - you are not he.
You were always free, since long before the meat.
Your bridges burned away, so let go of all need.
You passed down the disease, and this is just the fee...
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9. |
Desperation Dance
04:08
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10. |
Nex Memoria
03:38
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11. |
Nomad
05:16
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Legs - numb, throat - dry,
such blinding light for a sunless sky.
Searching for hope when hope has a price,
I am a failure in a paradise.
And I have been forgotten, I am the living dead.
I have been forgotten - the world is in my head.
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12. |
Sin Nomine
07:33
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Swirl.
Fade.
Higher.
Away.
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